THE LYING CACTUS

         Do not be fooled by the name OR by the looks of something which we all know is as prickly. Of course, I'm speaking of cactuses or cactii - which
are both correct as the plural form. I checked.

         Long ago, in my much younger years, my younger years of foolishness, or my younger years of clue-less-ness, I learned a lesson the HARD way!

         My husband and I were recently transferred to Morris, Illinois outside of Joliette, which is outside of Chicago, It was a cute little "Mayberry" town.

         But I knew no one, as usual. This was because his career moves took us to many places, but we never stayed long enough to put down real roots. And without real roots, it was difficult to feel connected and to make friends.

         So my coping mechanism was to live as though I was "temporarily permanent" instead of "permanently temporary!" It's a real thing, you know!

         The setting of this important lesson brings us to a little plant nursery, of which I had a natural propensity towards. The fact that I owned 74 plants easily substantiated the fact that I loved to go plant shopping, I mean browsing. The fact that my sweet husband was willing to transport 74 said plants to and fro, across the country, was amazing in and of itself!

         I "chased a rabbit," so lets get back to the nursery. As I walked along, through the foliage-stuffed aisles, I spotted the most beautiful cactus that I had ever seen. (Now, being from New Orleans, this did not necessarily give me a great deal of history with cactii, but this plant was very "good on the eye.")

         To say that I couldn't help myself is an understatement here. But I really couldn't! It was as if that precious little green, velvety plant with the soft-looking red spines, was calling out to me to, not only touch it, but to rub my fingertips up and down it's flat surface.

         So I succumbed and I did it! It did feel very velvety, just like it looked, but ... what I was left with caused me to meet a new neighbor. I know that sounds strange, but it really happened.

         Footnote here: I am right handed and now my right thumb and pointer finger were COVERED with easily hundreds of little short, red splintery spines. Whoops! Now what do I do? I asked myself.

         I was able to drive myself back to the apartment, but then my dilemma rose to expounded heights.    

         After considering my limited options, (My honey was at work,) I decided upon a kind-enough-looking lady whom I had seen strolling her baby, but had never really met. She looked nice enough; after all, she was a mom!

         So I timidly made my way down the seemingly forever-long hall from my apartment to hers. During my arduous walk, I had plenty enough time to rehearse my lines.

         "Knock, knock, knock," I knocked on her door. As I waited, I swallowed a large piece of "humble pie" before making my MAJOR request of this innocent stranger.

         When she answered said door, I introduced myself and then I hit her with the reason for my unexpected visit.

         As I held up a pair of tweezers, I let the request roll right off my tongue and into her ears. I asked, "Would you be willing to remove the hundreds of tiny, red spines from my fingertip and thumb?"

         How embarrassing! But she actually agreed to take on my unusual request. Good thing for me, the baby was asleep.

         So that is how I met Barbara P of Morris, Illinois. (So thank you again, Barbara, if you are reading this. I have gained a little more wisdom about life by now.)

Lesson Learned:

Even if a cactus looks soft and velvety, do NOT touch OR rub it!!

But if you HAVE to touch it, do not do so with your predominant hand.

There could possibly be more interesting ways to meet a neighbor, but this is definitely a unique way to do so.